recently i wrote my "father" a letter,
a letter expressing my feelings on his absence in my life.
I let him have it.
i let him have it sooo good!
Asking questions like:
why do you hate me?
what did i do to you?
better yet why did u make me only my moms responsibility???
why do you love all your other kids more then me?
blah blah blah it keeps going but that's the basics .
I put it into the mailbox all confident and feeling strong!
Even a bit relieved.
can you guess what happened next?
i bet you cant cuz i still cant,
I got a phone call, and when i answered it , it was who better then my DAD!
I'm sure u can only imagine my heart beating fast and my hands shacking with surprise!
But it was him.
He called to say how this year he wants to make things right with me .
How sorry he is for always making me feel unloved.
and how he wants to be close with his grandson.
I at this point am so EXCITED cuz i have not heard his voice in so long.
i don't even know what to say.
at one point he said he was waiting for me to call him.
funny cuz i didn't have his # so i don't understand how he thought i could call him.?
so our conversation was nothing long but b$ i know it we say good bye ...
and i didn't mention anything about the letter.
I was scared!
but apart of me still wanted him to get it so he could see how i really feel
since i didn't have the courage to say it on the phone....
Well i sent the letter over a week ago and i haven't heard anything from him since.
oh well maybe it got lost. :(